Distress to De-stress

Working couples are a big part of the growing economy. While they earn big numbers, they should pay attention on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Learning to de-stress is a must if both the partners have a full time job.

Here are some of the easy ways to do it :

1. Avoid talking about office problems for prolonged periods at home. Office topics cannot be avoided completely. But limit the discussion.

2. Share funny or happy things you came across that day. It might be yours or your friends.

3. Prepare dinner together. It lightens up the pressure considerably. Besides it helps you spend more time with your partner.

4. Avoid mechanical or mundane things like switching on your TV as soon as you get home. In most families TV is a backdrop noise that is heard whether being watched or not. Silence is a powerful de-stresser. Learn to capitalize it.

5.Listen to your partner when he/she is talking to you. It assures them that you are supportive. Knowing that you have someone to lean back on reduces your uncertainties.  Sometimes if there is too much of work pressure allow them to narrate the entire story once. If you realize that, talking about it again and again makes them unhappy, divert the topic with simple conversations like " What would you like for dinner today?"

6. Never go to bed angry or upset. It impacts the relationship in a very big way. Talk things over or let it go as you deem it fit.

College Comrades

The early morning greetings,
Late evening meetings,
The roadside panipuri chats,
The endless cafeteria chitchats,
Last minute exam preparations,
Colorful functions and celebrations,
The missed college lecture,
The earful parent gesture,
The study group discussions,
The gossips and confessions,
The farewell tears,
Missing near and dears...

College life is indeed a happy dream. I sometimes wonder why all people irrespective of their age have fond memories of especially their college. Then I knew the reason when I made through college. It is that period that gives us endless dreams and hopes - where we feel we are invincible and the future appears sparkling bright. There is a strong optimism and confidence about our own strength. Above all, we make companions for life. Friends, who are mature enough to understand our temperament and stick with us through thick and thin. Friendship that stands beyond any kind of bias. Ultimately the confidence stems for our friendship. Friendship ensures that there is always a ear for sympathy, a shoulder for tears and a happy cheer for triumph. It creates beautiful moments that are enjoyed fresh at that time and incredible memories that are enjoyed at leisure through out our life time. It also teaches us important values for life like love, trust and care. A friend is a relief in a moment of distress. The underlying factor for all the meetings, chatting, gossips, laughter, why even fights is the fact that our friend cares for us. True friends are precious and rare. Nothing is worth losing such a friend. Of all the great things that life has to offer, friendship is one of the best things that happens to everyone. Cherish it! Preserve it!

Read more about friends here.

In-law or Outlaw?

"My daughter-in-law just passed school when she married my son Shekar." The mother-in-law Kamakshi was telling the guests who were visiting her. Her daughter-in-law Kamala was in the kitchen making coffee. She had heard this dialogue over a hundred times over the last five years. She was distressed the same way today just like the day when she first heard the comment. Her mother-in-law had a tactic of making her feel small and insignificant in front of everybody else.

Why Shekar? Kamala thought .. why cannot you tell your mother that I'm trying my best to keep her happy. Why don't you let her know that I'm getting hurt all the time?

Shekar was the only son to Kamakshi. So he made every precaution not to disappoint his mother. Though his mother complained non-stop about his wife, he chose to let it go. Talking about it will only create a bigger problem as far as he was concerned. Many a nights he had spent consoling Kamala, that everything would be alright in the near future. But the day never came. Things were still the same even after 5 years. Even after two kids...

"Kamala's family is not like ours you see. They gave us only 10 sovereigns of gold as dowry. But I was generous enough to get her married to Shekar". The guests were cousins of Kamakshi and they were commenting about their own daughters-in-law.

"...Yeah, Preethi does not work enough. I have to help her in everything.."

Kamala entered the hall with the coffee tray. Her mother-in-law made no pretense of noticing her.
The rest of the time, Kamala pretended to be invisible while her own mother-in-law ranted about her and her family to the guests who were having quite a ball. It was embarrassing. Anger and tears were building up within Kamala.

The guests left. Shekhar had just come home. Kamala started to clear the dishes not wanting to talk to anybody.

"Shekar you are home! Rani aunty was here. Poor soul..her daughter-in-law does not know anything.. 
This generation is becoming worst. We mother-in-laws have to put up with everything. Kamala is lucky to have me. Who will treat their bahus like this when they have brought nothing from their houses? "

It was the last straw for Kamala. Before Shekar could react Kamala rounded on her mother-in law.

"Mamiji, Agreed I do not have money or even a decent education as you were kind enough to point out to our guests. But I do not have a big mouth or a self-important attitude either. All these years I expected Shekar to solve the problem for me. But I 'm doing now, what I should have done five years earlier.When I came to this house, I thought of you as my own mother. I trusted you to support me morally. But after all these years, I'm sick and tired of pretending not to be hurt while you say all those stinging things about me to strangers. I'm trying my best to keep you happy. But whatever I do, you just do not acknowledge it. So why should I try to achieve something that is never going to happen? I still want all of us to be happy as a family but not at the cost of my honor or happiness." Kamala stormed out of the hall.

Kamakshi looked utterly shell-shocked. Shekhar saw his mother was digesting what had just happened. He knew his mother won't change in a single day. But the wheels had definitely started turning.

Six tips for anxious new moms

1. Never compare your baby to other babies. Each baby is unique. Some babies are more active than others and reaching a milestone for each baby maybe different.

2. Do not worry if things take a little extra time. Be patient. You are learning feeding and diaper changing for the first time. Do not get discouraged if somebody else can strap their baby to a pram much faster

3. Never try to incorporate all the advice you get regarding the baby. Your custom may have certain rituals while others may have something else. Try to keep the baby comfortable.

4. Do not try to juggle your time between your spouse and the baby. Your partner will perfectly understand if you have very less time for him while you are getting the hang of things.

5. Engage your partner in activities that he can handle. Teach him to change diapers or small things he can do. It actually creates a bond between partners.

6.And finally stop fussing or getting anxious for simple things like the baby not feeding or sleeping well occasionally. Babies are much tougher than we think.

In the whole process, never forget to enjoy what it is to be like a new mother, because like all things new, this too has its own beauty.

Find out how a father is born when a child is born

What is 'Grand' about Grandparents?

For starters, grandparents do not have the tension that our parents may normally have.. Say a parent teacher meeting on a working day or the nitty grittys of parenting without experience. They have a lot of leisure time on their hands which they can productively spend on helping their grand kids with homework or teaching them to play ball. So with  the dawning nuclear family era , there is no way our generation is going to enjoy the bed-time stories with morals, or the famed grandmother recipes, or the spectacular sharing of their grand secrets. Some one once said, "The reason why the first generation and the third generation get along so well is because they have common enemies". So though the distances might be long and the differences might be too many, take sometime to strengthen your relationship with your grandparents. You will never regret it.

Read more about relationships.

Simply Love!

Of all the precious things in this world, the most precious is love.

In an ever-growing graph of money,status and luxuries in our life, there are certain things which are getting more and more scarce. We do not realize them till they are almost gone. Yes - I'm talking about human relationships.

There was an era which did not see mobile phones or computers. That era saw love in its true form, saw respect in its honorable form, saw courage in its inspiring form. 

Love is universal. Love is omnipresent. Sometimes you do not know it is even there. Sometimes you take it for granted expecting it to be always there. Either ways love wants to be with you in the form of a parent or a friend or a sibling or a son.

This blog is a place to express this universal presence - the timeless phenomenon called 'Love'


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